I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
