Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
