her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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