how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
