that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
