you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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