Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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