a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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