Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
