Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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