I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Alive.
So much puke
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
