so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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