Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
