Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
