help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
