Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
