he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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