Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
