I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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