Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
