So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
