I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
