Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize