She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Come share oat with me in your robe
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
