oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
