Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
