Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
