i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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