when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
