oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
