YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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