I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
