I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
