my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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