can we get nightvision for the apartment?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
