just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
