Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
