some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize