U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
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Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
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Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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