So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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