yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
