love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
