Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
