I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
