You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
