That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
