We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
