it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
