Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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