The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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