Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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