this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hippo gnu deer
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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