The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
