oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you never un-have a 4some
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
