A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
