We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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