Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
