i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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