WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
