When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
