i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
