you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
