Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
